A Tribute

This changes everything.

Why I go to mass

I’ve been slacking on my mass attendance lately, only having gone a handful of times in the past six months.  I’ve felt bad about not going, and considering it’s now Lent, the Catholic guilt has been extra strong the past months.  I went to mass this morning, and it felt good.  Sitting there, as the church filled up, I thought about why I haven’t been going lately, why I felt guilty about not going yet chose not to go anyway, and why I had chosen to go to mass in the past.

I first went through a mass attendance drought when I first moved to Tallahassee in 2003.  The first two years I was in Florida, I lived right down the street from a church.  Literally, it was a block away.  But I didn’t really go much on Sundays.  There was something about the parish and about the space that didn’t sit well with me.  I guess I was thinking too much about my churchgoing experience in Chicago, which was nothing short of amazing.  The masses we had at Loyola at the campus chapel were great: I sang with great friends under the direction of an amazing musician (Miss you, Rudy!), the preaching was excellent (Miss you, too, Fr. Jerry!), and the space was great (Ah, Madonna della Strada).  So, I was comparing my Florida mass experience with my Chicago experience, and that just wasn’t fair: the life I started in Tallahassee was the next stage in my professional and personal lives, and so I (eventually) realized that it was unrealistic of me to have the same church experience in Florida as I did in Chicago.  Once I got over that, I found a parish in Tallahassee (Good Shepherd Catholic Church) and had a great experience there.

I went through a similar mode of thought here in Lowell.  It took a me a couple of months to find a parish that suited me.  I was delighted when eventually found St. Michael Parish last fall.  The priests are extraordinarily friendly and give wonderful sermons, the community seems very cohesive, and the music ministry is pretty good and has potential to be even better.  But, for reasons I just now discovered, I only went to mass consistently for about a month, then let my attendance fall by the wayside.  I’m not proud to admit this, but the main reason I didn’t go was because I was lazy.  No sugar-coating it, the dancing around that fact.  It was cold, I didn’t feel like getting out of bed, and just plain didn’t want to go.  Not surprisingly, being raised in the Catholic tradition, the guilt about not going to mass–especially since I no longer had the “I-haven’t-found-the-right-parish” excuse–was always there.  Despite that guilt, I didn’t go regularly.  Maybe once a month, if that.  The laziness, I think, stemmed from a bout of selfishness.  I didn’t want to make paltry the sacrifice of a hour and a half every week, getting up (relatively) early, and driving through the snow.  Also, mentally and emotionally, I was so focused on myself and what was going on in my life (school, relationships, the fact that was I pretty lonely) that I couldn’t muster the energy or the discipline to go to mass.

After mass, the view of the inside of St. Michael Parish.

But I found that energy this morning.  And it felt good.  I had forgotten that going to mass helps keep me centered.  The way I see it, it helps me put things into perspective; the preaching is good for me.  I don’t necessarily agree with everything that’s said in the homily, buy for the most part, lessons contained in the readings and sermons hit home, either directly or indirectly.  Going to mass also provides a bit of structure to my weekly schedule.  My personality is the type that needs structure and discipline otherwise I’d get nothing done; I actually do better when I’m busier because I don’t have the spare time to sit around.  Having lots of spare time inevitably leads me to wasting most of it doing nothing.  In addition to the structure, going to mass helps give me a sense of belonging, a sense of community.  I’ve struggled with that since I’ve moved up to Massachusetts because I don’t have many friends up here yet.  St. Michael is very welcoming, giving me a little of that sense of community.

Insomnia, pt. 2

Yesterday was the first day of the spring semester at UML.  I’m usually a bit nervous before the start of the new semester, and the two nights ago certainly was no exception.  I didn’t get much sleep the night before, about four hours, due to my mind’s inability to relax and also to a fear of oversleeping.  I had trouble falling asleep last night, too, again because my mind just couldn’t settle down.  Among the various subjects my mind contemplated were:

• The new semester: I hope I teach well and I hope my students are receptive to my methods.
• Relationships: past, present, and future; platonic, romantic, familial.  It was a long weekend, to say the least.
• The first six measures of “My Country ‘Tis of Thee”: I’m using that as an example in class on Friday, so I transcribed it into Finale Sunday afternoon and haven’t been able to get it out of my head.  Along with…
• “Get On Your Boots,” U2’s new single: I’ve lived with the song for a week now and I can say with full confidence that I like it.  It’s a new direction for the band, which was their intent on this album.  I was reluctant to write about the song until I’d listened to it enough.  I have, and it’s a keeper.  Like the rest of the U2 fans out there, I’m very excited for No Line On The Horizon.
• The impending snow storm: I hope my tires don’t get flat again.  I’ve spent a pretty penny getting them changed; I’d really hate it if I had to through the hassle of changing yet another tire.  On the bright side, Oreo will have more snow in which to run around.
• Travel plans for Spring Break:  My mom wants to go to Vegas, Mike is hosting FriendFest ‘09a in DC, and I’d like to visit Houston again.  Three place, one week…something’s gotta give.
• My country ’tis of thee sweet land of liber…DAMN IT!!
• The Australian Open: Djokovic has all the talent in the world, but no heart.  I realize that court temperatures of 142 degrees are torture, but he’s a professional with adequate time to prepare for the conditions.  It’d be different if this was the first time he retired, but he’s developing a trend of quitting when he’s down.  Federer, the game’s gentleman champion and ambassador, even called him out.  Not a good sign, Novak.
• Nashoba Valley Chorale: I sang with them for the first time last night and the music was tough.  Of course, I was rusty, but a lot of the music was in French, a language I have trouble with.

So yeah, the way I see it, it was impossible for my mind to shut down while all this crap swirling around.  I’m not sure how well I’ll survive averaging less than five hours of sleep a night.  Here’s to an early bedtime tonight!

Click here for “Insomnia” (pt. 1).

30 of 30(’s)

I turned 30 on couple of days ago, and frankly, it was weird.  I’m not freaked out, like some people get when they reach this “milestone.”  It’s weird in that I’m starting another decade of life.  It’s weird how much older 30 seems than 29.  It’s weird because it doesn’t seem any different from age 29, except when I say out loud “I’m 30.”  I used to use the phrase “you’re only as old as you feel” when I worked retail.  I said that to men who would come into the store and hesitate to buy an item because they felt they were “too old for that.”  The way I see it, I certainly don’t feel too old for anything.  In fact, I don’t feel like I’m 30, which is contributing to the weirdness of the occasion.  I still make crude fart jokes, poke Marty incessantly when we’re together, dance around my apartment in a silly manner when I’m giddy, and get excited to play new video games.  Again, I don’t feel like I’m 30, but I am.  So…there it is.

In honor of my 30^th birthday, I thought I’d make a list similar to the monthly 12 of 12 I try to post.  This time, however, the list is comprised of things I hope to see and/or do while in my 30’s.  I’ve got a decade to complete the list, so I think I’ve got a pretty good shot at checking off everything.  Here goes (in no particular order):

1. Watch the Cubs win the World Series.
2. Pay off my student loans.
3. Go whitewater rafting in the Grand Canyon.
4. Learn Chopin’s “Fantasie Impromptu.”
5. Write and publish a book.
6. Meet U2.
7. Buy a house.
8. Go to Wimbledon.
9. Watch the Bears win another Super Bowl.
10. Learn to write left-handed.
11. Celebrate Oreo’s 1^st, 2^nd, 3^rd, 4^th, 5^th, 6^th, 7^th, 8^th, 9^th, and 10^th birthdays.
12. Get married.
13. Add a different stamp to my passport.
14. See my parents retire.
15. Win a tennis tournament.
16. Become fluent in Tagalog.
17. Learn Spanish.
18. Get tenure.
19. Present at an international conference.
20. Buy a new car.
21. See a sunset on the beach at Boracay.
22. Drive on the Autobahn.
23. Skydive.
24. Watch FSU win another NCAA college football national championship.
25. Have a child.
26. Swim with dolphins.
27. Visit all 30 (ha!) MLB parks.
28. See Niagra Falls.
29. Learn to cook more Filipino food.
30. ?

You’ll notice that #30 was left blank.  That’s where you, the reader, comes in.  I’d appreciate your suggestions.  They could be silly or sincere (I prefer sincere).  In any case, I look forward to reading what you think I should do in my thirties.

Ike’s Aftermath

My parents live and teach in Houston, so naturally I’ve been concerned about their well-being these past few days in the wake of Hurricane Ike’s devastation.  I talked to my dad briefly Saturday afternoon when Ike was barreling through Houston.  Over the cell phone connection I could hear the wind whistling and the rain pelting his windows.  The connection itself was crackly, as I’m sure the signal had trouble getting through the massive storm.  He gave me an update yesterday; he was at school to charge his cell phone and try to restore some semblance of normalcy to his life.  Their classes start up again on Thursday.  He still has no electricity.  In fact, I checked the power outages and he’s in an area that is still totally blacked out: 100% of CenterPoint customers in his zip code still are without electricity, as the chart illustrates.  Despite his troubles, it was good to hear from him and know he was at least safe and uninjured and that his place survived relatively unscathed.

On the other hand, I hadn’t heard from my mom since Friday morning.  I talked to her from school during the proverbial (and in this case very real) calm before the storm.  It was troubling, to say the least, not being able to talk her to check up on things.  I finally got a hold of my mom this evening.  Thankfully, she’s not hurt and her house is fine.  But, I could sense a little distress in her voice.  She said she’s never experienced anything like this power outage.  Houston’s got a curfew in effect, and she said it’s been disconcerting because, without street lamps or house lights anywhere, her area is “freaking pitch black at 8pm.”  Luckily, her friend came over and helped her fire up her grill (which hasn’t been used in quite a while) so that she can at least cook some rice and grill some fish.  Most of her food, however, is going to be thrown out.

It’s weird, but I wish I could be there to help my parents through it.  I mean, I’m glad I didn’t have live through Ike, but I a part of me feels guilty that I can’t help them.  The way I see it, I guess I just have to wait and hope and pray that electricity is restored sooner rather than later so that they can get their lives back on track.

9/11

Hard to believe that it’s been seven years…

Top 10 things I’ll miss about Tallahassee

My moving trailer arrived Wednesday, so it’s been a packing/loading fest since then.  My mom came into town help and has done a wonderful job.  With the apartment slowly, but surely, emptying, the upcoming to Lowell is, as Marty puts it, “gettin’ real.”  Really real.  I almost can’t believe it.  I’m packing up my computer in a few minutes, so I thought that my last entry as a Florida resident would a Top 10 list.  I’ve spent five good years in Tallahassee, so here are the Top 10 things I’ll miss about The ‘Heez (in no particular order).

1. The ranch dressing at The 4th Quarter.  Ranch dressing is just good in general, but the stuff at The 4th Quarter bar and grill is just something else entirely.

2. FSU.  I met a lot of great people at Florida State and made some really really good friends through the school.  Thanks, everyone.

3. Living costs.  As I quickly discovered, Lowell’s cost of living is dramatically higher than Tallahassee’s, so much so that my apartment in Massachusetts is going to cost me double what I’m paying in Florida.  Ouch.

4. The weather.  I hate the hot oppressive summer temperatures, but I will miss those lovely February days when the mercury hits 73.

5. The sports.  I’m a pro sports guy, but FSU is the first sports school that I’ve attended and it was great.  Gathering at Doak Campbell Stadium with 84,000 other fans was an experience I’ll miss dearly.

6. The hotties.  Tallahassee has an inordinate amount of very attractive people.  I mean, hott with two t’s.  In fact, I’d say the attractive-ness quotient is as high in Tally as it is low in Lowell (how ’bout that).  I guess the good news is that I won’t feel so bad at the gym.

7. The cheap drinking.  $1.75 draft beer for happy hour…how can you beat that?

8. The dog park.  Oreo liked running around unfettered with the other pups at Tom Brown.  Fortunately, Lowell just opened up the city’s first official dog park, so I’m hoping it’ll be a good one.

9. The proximity.  Everything essential is 15 minutes away, tops.

10. The food.  For a city of it’s size, there is a surprisingly high number of good restaurants.

Well, that’s all from Tallahassee, FL.  Another chapter ends, with one waiting to begin in Lowell.  I’m going to miss Tally for sure, but the way I see it, I’m moving on to bigger and better things.

It’s official

Well, it’s official.  The wait is finally over.  My job search is complete.  I am the newest faculty member of the University of Massachusetts Lowell Department of Music.  More than anything, more than happiness or joy or elation, the biggest emotion I feel right now is relief.  I smiled a lot when I accepted the position, but the big sigh of relief I let out afterwards is perhaps the most memorable reaction.

It’s been a strange process, this whole getting-a-job thing.  I was so excited last fall because it seemed like just about every school out there had an opening and my chances of landing a gig were great.  So I applied to numerous places, thinking I had a shot to land a pretty good job right off the bat.  But as the school year wore on, and I didn’t hear from anyone, I started to get a little worried.  There was a little lull in job openings, but kept my eyes and ears open, sending out my materials when I could.  Then, one weekend, out of the blue (while I was in Maine with Amy, of all times!), I was forwarded a job posting for a position up in Massachusetts.  ”Lowell, MA??” I thought.  But I looked it up and it sounded great, so I sent off my materials.  Lo and behold, after a couple of phone interviews, they wanted to see me live and in person.  After scrambling for two days getting together a lesson plan, I flew up to Lowell, gave my teaching demos, met with the Dean and the search committee, flew back to Tally, and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Now, it was only about a week and a half that I waited to hear from them, but it seemed like much longer than that.  I thought I nailed the interview, and since their school year was coming to a close, I knew they didn’t have that much time to interview other candidates and needed to fill the position.  Plus, I’m an impatient person by nature: I wanted to know, and I wanted to know ASAP.  So I waited (not so) patiently until the phone rang last week.  Awesome.

I think the most relieving aspect about this job is that it’s tenure-track, so I won’t have to go through this whole interview process again at least for a few years.  *WHEW*  The way I see it, I got lucky.  Very very lucky.  UML was looking for someone and one of the profs just happened to be talking with a prof at FSU.  My name was among those mentioned, and a month later, the job is mine.  The saying goes, “It’s better to be lucky than good.”  Amen.  I mean, I think I’m pretty decent, but in this case, Lady Luck was on my side.

Go River Hawks!!

Memorial Day

This Memorial Day, I’d like to dedicate an entry to those women and men who have lost their lives in the line of duty.  You paid the ultimate price defending the United States.  I salute you.  Thank you, soliders.  

Big ten

It’s been quite a big ten days or so for me.  Here’s a recap:

Two weekends ago, I was in Portland, Maine with Amy, celebrating our two year anniversary.  I’d always wanted to go to Maine, as I’d heard it was a beautiful part of the country and a place I likely would not visit often (if at all) if not for Amy’s companion travel benefits through AirTran.  As we discovered right off the bat, Portland is a beautiful city.  Our hotel was right downtown, mere blocks away from shops and restaurants, which, because of a local city ordinance against chains, were mostly locally owned.  It was very refreshing not seeing a McDonald’s or a Macy’s.  We both were able to find some great buys, and the food was great.  All the hype surrounding Maine lobster is true: it’s that good.  As for the people of Portland, three words describe them: Nicest.  People.  Ever.  No joke, everyone we chatted with, from servers to boutique managers to bar tenders to our hotel shuttle driver, was easy-going, friendly, and warm.

We were supposed to fly back that Sunday, but the afternoon flight out of Portland was completely full, so we were forced to stay another night in Maine.  Damn.  This picture was from the ferry ride we took to one of the islands around Maine where we had some clam chowder, chili, and some microbrew IPA.  In a word, yum.

We were able to fly back to Atlanta the very next day.  After getting some lunch on the hour-long car ride from the airport, we stopped by to pick up the newest addition to my household.  Meet Oreo.

She’s a lab mix who was abandoned at a vet’s office outside of Atlanta.  She and the rest of litter were taken care of by a friend of Amy’s for a few weeks.  Oreo is a sweet, affectionate pup who’s about 3.5 months old.  Amy figures now that I’m done with my school work and have virtually no friends left in Tally, she’d be a welcome companion.  She was right.  As Mike says, Oreo is “too cute.”

While in Portland, I got an email from a school saying they had an opening and that I should contact them if I was interested in the position.  Um, SHyeah!  Fortunately, I was able to get together a cover letter and found a copy of my current CV online (amen for Gmail’s archives) and sent that off right away.  I drove home early Tuesday morning, unpacked, and got Oreo situated in her new digs.  She was amazing on the five-hour car ride here: completely calm and low-key, lying peacefully in the front seat the whole time.  That afternoon, before my serving shift at 228, I had a two-part phone interview with said school, which I thought turned out pretty well.

The next day, I get the long-awaited email from the manuscript clearance advisor: my dissertation was approved!  Halle-freakin’-lujah!!  Finally, after two months of revisions and paperwork, “Form and Style in the Music of U2″ was done and done.  That day, I also picked up my cap, gown, and hood for the graduation ceremony.  Only, much to my disappointment, there was no cap.  I mean, really the only reason I did this whole Ph.D. thing was for the damn floppy hat.  So I had to go back to campus the next day and pick one up.  Luckily, they had one in my size, so after several trips to campus and $120 later, my graduation regalia was complete.

Amy drove into town late Thursday night, so we slept in on Friday morning before taking Oreo out with us to lunch at Momo’s.  Yum.  My parents flew in that evening, and from the airport, we went straight to dinner at Rubie Sky.  Again, yum.

Finally, the big day had arrived: Graduation Day.  I’ll spare you the details of the ceremony, except that the guest speaker sucked and that Dr. Clendinning was probably more outwardly excited about my graduation that I was, which was a lot.  It was cute to see her smiling and looking back at me as we walked up the ramp for the hooding.  There were two parts during commencement that I welled up.  The first was just after President Wetherell conferred the doctoral students our degrees and declared, “You are now graduates of Florida State University.”  Hell.  Yeah.  The second was at the end of the ceremony, when Wetherell asked the new graduates to thank those who have helped us the most, particularly our parents.  Indeed, I can’t thank mine enough (but that’s another entry altogether…this one’s long enough already).  After the ceremony, Amy, my parents, and I hung out at my place and had some lunch.  We then went to Marie Livingston’s for an early dinner with Dr. Clendinning.  Yum yet again.  After dinner, we just chilled at home.  It’d been a loooong day.

We took some pictures Sunday morning, and then I went to mass with my parents (I love that “Unconquered” statue).

After mass, we met Amy for lunch at The Red Elephant.  You guessed it: yum.  Amy then headed back to Atlanta, I dropped my mom off at the airport, and my dad and I played some tennis for the first time in months.  I was way rusty, but it was nice to get back on the court, and especially nice to hit with my dad again.  We went out to dinner afterwards (not quite as yum), and the comedown finally hit me.  I was exhausted; it was a busy weekend that just flew by.

My dad left for Houston early yesterday morning.  I worked last night and managed to pull in a nice handle of cash for a slow Monday night.  Which brings me to today (finally).  I just found out (literally, five minutes before typing this entry) that I’ve got a second phone interview next Monday, this time with the whole music theory search committee.  Whew.  Sweet.  Yikes.  Finally, a lead on a job.  The way I see it, it’s great to finally get an interview, but at the same time I’m already quite nervous about it.  I don’t want to blow it, ‘cause it may be the only lead I get for some time.  Here’s to hoping it turns out for the best!